I hit a rough patch. My life of thirty years was blown to bits in 2018. There’s no way for anyone to prepare for this kind of high drama and there is no preparing for the significance or blow-back that such an event can have on your life. There is a truck load of emotional shrapnel that can rip through you when you least expect it even a year out.
The big surprise is that long-time friends drop you like you never existed. The other surprise is that they clearly take sides.
It was quickie divorce. So quick in fact that everyone involved was caught like deer in the headlights including me. It was amicable. I didn’t fight. I accepted the short end of the financial stick just to spare everyone a shit load of pain. I took the gentleman’s approach in my divorce in an attempt to maintain some sort of “normal” relationship with my kids. Divorce is hard enough without everyone being an jerk about it.
Did it work?
Not really because everyone left me behind.
Everybody waved happily from the lifeboat as I stood and watched on board of the sinking ship.
My life was very different than theirs from the get go.
You see folks, I am an orphan of sorts. Self-exiled and exiled from any kind of real warm and fuzzy relationship with my family and extended family because of a religion. So no, there wasn’t any tidal wave of help or emotional support from my people in my moment of need. I had anticipated getting the usual religious rhetoric and sure enough right on cue it happened. Had to shut that puppy down real quick. But it’s all good now.
In this kind of situation everyone loves to place blame. Everyone loves to gossip, talk shit and throw speculation to the wind. The first thing people think is that I cheated. Of course it’s always the man. It wasn’t that. If you really knew me, you would know that I’m not one of those guys. Remember the religion thingie? Although I don’t believe in church, I do believe in the principals I was taught and besides that my dad always told me to finish one thing before I start something else. It is sound advice. It was a clean break.
Everyone forgets that I lost a 30 year friendship when our marriage ended.
My ex and I are both fundamentally good people.
Yes, you heard me right. My ex is a good person.
I guess it’s just another case of “stuff happens” because I didn’t get any clear explanation as to her reasons why she wanted out of our marriage and it was a firm “no” on marriage counselling too. Marriage was supposed to be for better or worse and it was a pretty good 30 years. I guess she wanted out in the “better” part.
The only explanation given was that she wanted to find herself…whatever that means, and I hope she does.
I never like hearing that someone is going through a rough patch. Even my ex. She is going through a really rough patch right now. I wish her well on that front too. It is comforting to know that she is surrounded by her friends and family. God speed.
Life goes on