Survivors get up and dust themselves off and keep moving forward. Looking back isn’t an option. We must keep going forward. It is only when there is a lull in the storm that we can take a few moments to assess the damage that has been done to us.
For some of us, there is never a lull in the proverbial storm. For others, they continue moving forward as the walking wounded. These individuals choose to ignore the pain they continue to endure. Ironically, the injured often inflict hurt on others, carrying the cycle of damage from generation to generation.
On the run
I have been constantly on the move since I was twelve years old. I have suffered deep and long-lasting wounds that have healed somewhat, but the scars that are left behind are deep.
What has brought me to this impasse is my second experience with shunning. Not only did my divorce in 2018 end a 30-year relationship with my ex, but it also caused me to be shunned by everyone I knew and loved up to that point. Yet I didn’t break any rules. I certainly didn’t break my vows before our divorce but I still exhausted my significance.
I’ve decided to do a personal damage assessment in the middle of a hurricane. Crazy as it sounds, there is no time like the present.
Beginning to heal
Although I grew up in the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I never was baptized. I left home before the pressure to do so was too great. Although I was never a member of the so-called church, I was still ostracized, and shunned by some of my family members. I have now begun a journey to try and heal some of the scars. Over a decade ago, I made peace with my past, but the wounds remain. To recover from your injuries, you need to tend to them. Going through life pretending they aren’t there isn’t suitable for anyone, so I’ve stopped pretending.
Part of my healing process is listening to others who have also escaped and carry similar injuries and scars left behind by the years spent in a cult.
I’ve decided to start writing and talking about my own experiences.
In the future, you may find some of what I will tell you very disturbing and hard to believe. What is most disturbing is that I am not alone.
I am not a victim but just a little battered from life.