Survivors get up and dust themselves off and keep moving forward. Looking back isn’t an option. We must keep going forward. It is only when there is a lull in the storm that we can take a few moments to assess the damage that has been done to us.

Recurring cycles

For some of us, there is never a lull in the proverbial storm. For others, they continue moving forward as the walking wounded. These individuals choose to ignore the pain they continue to endure. Ironically, the injured often inflict hurt on others, carrying the cycle of damage from generation to generation.

On the run

I have been constantly on the move since I was twelve years old. I have suffered deep and long-lasting wounds that have healed somewhat, but the scars that are left behind are deep.

An impasse

What has brought me to this impasse is my second experience with shunning. Not only did my divorce in 2018 end a 30-year relationship with my ex, but it also caused me to be shunned by everyone I knew and loved up to that point. Yet I didn’t break any rules. I certainly didn’t break my vows before our divorce but I still exhausted my significance.

Damage assessment

I’ve decided to do a personal damage assessment in the middle of a hurricane. Crazy as it sounds, there is no time like the present.

Beginning to heal

Although I grew up in the Jehovah’s Witnesses, I never was baptized.  I left home before the pressure to do so was too great.  Although I was never a member of the so-called church, I was still ostracized, and shunned by some of my family members. I have now begun a journey to try and heal some of the scars. Over a decade ago, I made peace with my past, but the wounds remain. To recover from your injuries, you need to tend to them. Going through life pretending they aren’t there isn’t suitable for anyone, so I’ve stopped pretending.

Healing process

Part of my healing process is listening to others who have also escaped and carry similar injuries and scars left behind by the years spent in a cult.

I’ve decided to start writing and talking about my own experiences.

In the future, you may find some of what I will tell you very disturbing and hard to believe.  What is most disturbing is that I am not alone.

I am not a victim but just a little battered from life.

About the picture above:

This is the image that was inside the cover of the Jehovah’s Witnesses Bible (New World Translation 1961).  I remember it well and chuckled when I saw it., so I had to share. I was taught as a child that the dinosaurs lived at the same time as Noah and not millions of years ago and that they were destroyed during the flood.  That’s why there is a dinosaur hanging out in Africa in their bible.

I’ve added a clip from the Sopranos to illustrate their beliefs.  It’s uncanny!