The Process of Gratitude
Every year I go through the process of reviewing events from the previous year, to review what I did well on and what I didn’t. It’s not one of these deep soul searching reviews but rather a quick overview of my successes and failures.
What I am grateful for
I have a great deal to be grateful for this year, beginning of course with the fact that Annie survived her tremendous battle with cancer. Cancer puts everything in your life into perspective, not only as a survivor but as a caregiver. Your life’s principles and priorities get shifted into whats important and what’s not. Caring for someone who has cancer also brings your own mortality into question. I am grateful that she survived.
The lessons of cancer
Colo-rectal cancer and especially one that requires the patient to wear a colostomy bag for any length of time is not for the faint of heart. The day to day process of just making sure that everything is evacuating correctly becomes part of your routine, and when things go wrong it also becomes part of the caregivers concerns. The months that she had a stoma were some of the toughest of both our lives, her physically and I mentally. It was brutal.
What I learned about people
I learned a great deal about people during this time. There are truly generous people who step up when they see others struggling with cancer and there are other who seemingly suffer from a complete lack of empathy. Some even go out of their way to be extremely hurtful and just downright evil. During this time there was one individual who kept repeating to everyone who would listen that her cancer wasn’t real and that she was faking it, while others decided to cut all ties with us.
What I will retain
What I will retain this Thanksgiving is that I am blessed to be in good health and to have experienced love in my life. I am also very happy that my son is able to pursue his dream and is now living abroad. I am grateful to have him in my life. He is a remarkable man.
As Annie, the children and I emerge from the self-imposed seclusion of cancer I see a great deal of hope ahead.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
